We’ve all had moments where we wish we could hit the “undo” button on our lives. It’s impossible not to go through life and not get stuck in a cringe-worthy situation at least once or twice (heck, we’ve collectively had more than a handful this week alone over here) — whether it's getting hit on by a creepy Tinder match or accidentally sending your boss a text meant for your bestie about how much you hate your job.
Instead of hiding away in shame or waiting for your moment to show up on the actual FML website, we've got a solution: Burner. We believe in the power of Burner to shield you from life’s most embarrassing moments so much that we're sharing some of the most hilarious yet unfortunate FML fails while also showing you how they could have been avoided with Burner.
Generous Tipper
“Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML”
Okay, so here’s what we’d do in this situation. Step one is to get a Burner. Choose literally any area code you want — the weirder, the better, probably. Then, you’re gonna text him and ask him out on a date. When you start to plan things, let him know that your budget is only the 26 cents he tipped you to see how he reacts.
Or, take a more passive-aggressive (maybe not so passive) approach and use your Burner to text him asking, “WHERE’S THE REST OF MY TIP.” It will absolutely not result in a date (which you hopefully didn’t want with him anyway), but it will ensure he knows how to tip properly next time he’s dining out.
You Have Mail!
“Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML”
Okay, well, first of all — we hope Mom wasn’t too upset. Second, you can use Burner for that, baby. With Burner, you can easily create a second phone number that's strictly for reward sign-ups. You can earn those sweet, sweet rewards, and the company offering them won’t have access to any of your personal information (and neither will your parents).
Plus, you can create other temporary numbers for specific purposes, so whether you’re signing up for a one-time promotion or selling stuff on Craigslist, you don't have to commit to a long-term number or give out your personal one. It's like having a secret identity, minus the superhero suit (which looks hot and sticky anyway).
Denied
“Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML”
We really don’t have much to say about this one. This is exactly what Burner’s for (among many other things). We love to see it. Next time, though, instead of giving out a restaurant’s phone number, save them the hassle and give out a Burner number.
Eager Neighbor
“Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML”
Ah, the joys of apartment living. Your neighbor knows when you wake up, your landlord knows when you're home, and your mailman knows way too much about your online shopping habits. While all of the above might be inevitable, having your private number fall into the hands of strangers doesn’t have to be.
By using Burner, you can create a second number that'll keep your personal digits private. And if your Burner falls into the wrong hands (looking at you, nosy neighbor), just burn it and start over. If it’s just a one-off thing, use our blocking feature to block your nosy neighbor and keep using the same number.
Petty Soap
“Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML”
Okay, we can't condone being petty, but let's be real — when ridiculous soap drama between roomies turns into soap opera drama, you might have to take drastic measures. Instead of trying to fix the situation directly (that's so boring), why not take a playful approach with the power of Burner?
Create an anonymous number and start sending some snarky messages. Keep it light and sarcastic, nothing too harsh. Maybe try sending the message from the soap itself. Let the roomie know it wasn’t “your” fault (speaking as the soap here) and that “you” didn’t like the way she used you anyway.
Either way, just remember that communication is key in any roommate situation, so use your Burner number as a tool to facilitate that, not to fuel the fire. Who knows, a few laughs might be all it takes to get your roomie to unblock your number and end this sudsy saga once and for all.
Tinder Terror
“Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML”
Yikes. Talk about a true Tinder terror. While the original poster says they never had a Tinder account, their number was out there online somewhere for prying eyes to steal. It’s a classic case of compromised privacy, and it’s one of the main reasons why we’re so passionate about having people use Burner.
When it comes to online dating, it can be hard to know who you can really trust with your personal information. With Burner, you can create a temporary phone number to use while gauging your Tinder matches' level of creepiness. And if things take a turn for the worse, simply burn that number and move on to greener swiping pastures.
If you, like the original poster, never give out your real number to strangers when dating online, make sure you don’t post your real number elsewhere online, either. Always use a Burner!
Get an Anonymous Number
Outside of just never leaving your home or interacting with another human being ever again, the best way to avoid FML fails like these is to just use Burner. With our second-number app, you can finally ditch the woes of sharing your personal number with the world.
From avoiding awkward conversations with exes to keeping annoying, aggressive telemarketers at bay, we’re here to help you have control over your communications. Basically, with Burner, you can finally stop saying FML and start saying YOLO. Get started now.